That’s me, pregnant and teaching The Seed Program as a live workshop, inside the lobby of California Fertility Partners in Los Angeles eight years ago.
Given my successful track record of helping infertile patients, the doctors at CFP agreed to have me teach a class describing how I assisted in the successful pregnancies for over 1,000 patients and subsequently optimized my own formerly-infertile body to create two kids against the odds, using what could best be described as a “mind-body-diet-lifestyle-emotional healing approach” to fertility that I had formulated inside my acupuncture office.
Though I felt conflicted teaching at a fertility clinic while pregnant, Dr Guy Ringler helped me change my perspective, pointing out that my belly served as inspiring proof that what I was teaching actually works!
With that in mind, the live Seed lectures began. And he was right. The women in the audience heard my stories and listened intently to the ways in which I had made changes to my mindset and diet. They appreciated hearing how I found the courage to have a repeated surgery for endometriosis, and how I reframed my attitude about living a life of service to the infertile community into a life lived on purpose.
Each Tuesday evening, I would pack a cart full of food samples, recipes, handouts and poster boards to explain to receptive ears how I completely changed my body (and mind) to “optimize” it for maximum improved fertility.
I explained how each week of the menstrual cycle has a different emotional theme and requires different nutrition in order to bring optimal fertility.
The women were fascinated to learn that there is much they can do to help make their cycles successful. Instead of talking about eggs and ovaries and cycle outcomes, I used gardening metaphors, which helped the women feel less like “science experiments” and more like wise gardeners empowered with information about how to grow a fruitful garden.
When participants arrived for the first lecture, often they wouldn’t make eye contact with each other. Soon after hearing what all I had gone through to reach motherhood and what I have learned about women going through infertility, the ladies overcame their vulnerability and revealed emotions ranging from disappointment and disbelief, to shame, fear and negativity.
By the end of each lecture, the women were connecting with each other. They were feeling perspectivized and hopeful again. They opened their hearts and minds. They shared food samples and listened to the various simple ways they can help themselves reach their goal of motherhood. They related to the stories of women I’ve helped conceive despite years of trying, as the stories helped them believe that they could also get beyond an infertile diagnosis.
After three years of teaching live, it became clear that the information needed to go beyond this clinic lobby to help more women know what is possible with a little direction and effort.
In January 2014, I launched SeedFertility.com — a website that weaves my lectures, women’s testimonials, daily recipes and emotional journal questions into a self-healing, online fertility course. The material inside SeedFertility.com is riveting enough to simulate the experience of attending the lecture in person, yet it’s conveniently done privately online.
What started as a grassroots effort inside a fertility clinic in Los Angeles is now an international learning system that’s helped women all over the world heal infertility.
We’re about to release the newest version of SeedFertility.com in 2018. It will be just as inspirational, educational… full of meditations, recipes, and insightful information, but it will be even easier to use on mobile devices!
The new version will include:
The unconventional methodology of getting women to think differently about their infertility has helped many women opt out of IVF and became pregnant naturally, and helped even more to optimize their egg quality to create better embryos and uterine lining to find success through science and medicine.
The Seed Fertility Program continues to grow and help women recover their “fertile confidence” once again.
Ready to get started? Sign up here.
If you’re trying to get pregnant and it’s not happening, so much social focus on the JOY this season brings can begin to feel like repeated little jabs. If you’re not constantly meditating and perspectivizing, you’re likely to slip into feeling angry, frustrated and even mad at the women around you who happen to be on their way to motherhood before you.
That’s not your best self. But how can you stop the madness?
I’ve learned from sitting with infertile women for the last 16 years that this season is full of self-evaluation. And in general, women who are trying to conceive who haven’t yet succeeded conclude that they’ve failed miserably.
But instead of “failure”, I invite you to try on a different point of view, and see this time as an opportunity to reframe disappointments, and look at your fertility struggles from a different angle.
✥ Has your frustration led you to yoga, meditation or psychotherapy?
✥ Has the grief brought you and your partner closer together?
✥ Have you gained some interesting insights about yourself and your tremendous amount of resolve and persistence?
✥ How about the fact that you’re now able to find gratitude for the some of the things that are working in your life?
Learning how to reframe and shift your thinking will help you feel better and more in control along the way to baby. It’s one of the most valuable tools I teach inside The Seed Program, but it’s a skill that takes practice. Ready to get started? Sign up for The Seed Fertility Program here.
Over the past 17 years, I’ve sat in front of countless crying, discouraged, fearful, grieving women. All of which managed to find their way to my acupuncture office in hopes that the right combination of needles and herbs would help them become pregnant. They didn’t know I would challenge them to become better versions of themselves.
Having been told numerous times that I wouldn’t be able to have kids of my own, gives me the empathy necessary to relate to this crowd on an intimate level.
But it’s my successful outcome (and the interesting path of personal discovery that I took to reach my two kids against the odds) that allows me to serve as an inspiration and a teacher to women who need guidance through this challenging journey.
Through my work as an acupuncturist, I’ve had the perspectivizing gift of sitting with women who deplete their fertile energy — giving it away to fear, sadness, negativity, jealousy and the comparative thoughts about other women who they presume just “got lucky” and became pregnant easily.
Listening to women and watching this type of behavior has been powerful. It’s helped me to know the drastic impact of our negative thoughts and behaviors. It inspired me to write Stick It to Me, Baby! and create SeedFertility.com courses to bring greater awareness to the various ways that women keep themselves from becoming mothers.
I imagine what could happen if the fertility-challenged women were allowed to sit with me during a full day of acupuncture sessions…
In those rooms, like me, they would see how they are not alone, and they would watch as other awesome women fall repeatedly into the same defeatist attitudes about themselves and their childless lives.
Seeing how difficult it can be for other women to practice choosing more high-vibrational, “fertile thoughts” would help shift thinking and encourage women to know that it’s enough to simply try their best to make changes.
Mind-Body Medicine is what I practice and it’s what I used to overcome my own diagnosis of infertility. It’s a simple idea — that what we think about is what we’ll create for ourselves.
Despite my thoughts of hopelessness and worry before I became a mother, I consciously chose to let the quiet, subconscious messaging that I was healthy and fertile enough become louder than the doubtful thoughts that came at me from every direction.
I’ve helped thousands of women to start practicing the same holistic, spiritual-based truths that I used to get to my kids. I’m now referred to as a master of reframing, an inspirational story, a beacon of hope and healing…
However, my suggestion that women begin “thinking differently about infertility” is still quite unpopular inside the infertile subculture. And that’s confusing to me.
It’s as if the women who struggle to have kids find familiarity and constancy within their struggle. They have come to believe that it’s too hard/scary to commit to something that has no guarantee of success and asks them to be vulnerable and make a few changes to their current mindset.
As crazy as it seems, the thoughts of frustration and disappointment that lead women to feel bad are familiar. Being disappointed is, at least, something they have experienced before — it’s known, and therefore less intimidating than the idea of investing themselves and attempting to make changes to their thinking process, (for instance, affirming each day that they really CAN become fertile again).
So I’ve made “fertility education” my top priority.
I don’t mean talking about sperm meeting egg. Rather, I’m counseling women about emotions and sharing new perspectives and positive experiences with the women who find their way to my office and to the Seed Fertility website. I’m moving out of my own private comfort zone to offer stories and insights that I have seen help other women get beyond their patterns of limited thinking. Even though my views aren’t popular (yet), I can’t stop trying to help more women understand that changes to diet and mindset really do make a positive difference in cycle outcomes.
So if you’re reading this post, there is something right about you! Despite a disappointing journey so far, you are increasing your courage and fertile potential, just by taking these minutes to think what might happen if… you decided to think differently about your infertility.
Consider that the average infertile woman frequently gives her power away; to fear and worry, to her infertility diagnosis, and to negative thoughts that lead her nowhere good, searching the internet for reassuring statistics, only to find more reason to be worried and afraid (and disempowered).
From repeated disappointments, this woman has become practiced at doubting that her body has the potential to heal a deeper imbalance that created her fertility struggle in the first place.
Such is the case for the women who begin listening to an inner voice that is quiet at first, but gradually gets louder as they gain courage moving forward on their path to baby.
Instead of looking online to see what other women’s experiences have entailed, these more fertile infertile women begin looking for signs that they are healing.
Physically, perhaps they begin to have more regulated cycles and a higher number of follicles, and then emotionally, they start feeling better about the process of healing and what’s involved in becoming a mom these days.
The more “empowered” woman allows herself to come into the understanding that a diagnosis of infertility is also an opportunity — to recover parts of her health and her life that may need some attention before baby arrives.
For an empowered woman who’s been diagnosed with infertility, the recovery process becomes a matter of reframing her diagnosis… from there, she makes changes to her perspective and challenges herself to stay on a path that reflects her personal best, instead of sulking in constant negativity.
The path that this woman will be drawn to as she prepares to overcome infertility is usually different from the conventional advice given to infertility patients, as that often involves passively hoping… and waiting for things to change over time.
Both types of women may need IVF or a combination of science and holistic medicine to overcome infertility. And that’s fine.
However, it’s generally the woman who’s willing to view her infertility differently and can open her mind to hear a deeper truth — that the power to heal lies within herself — for whom healing infertility becomes a matter of consistent, new, different, more empowered life choices.
Committed to restoring fertile confidence and rebuilding faith in herself, this bold woman is cool with working on herself to become a mother and she knows that she’s increasing her fertile potential.
For example, this woman can:
Learning how to believe again, how to think differently about infertility, and how to entertain the thought that it is possible to become fertile again and overcome infertility, is what’s in store for women who have the courage to open their minds and try unconventional self-discovery programs like SeedFertility.com.
What type of woman are you?
Ask yourself, “How am I moving through this time in my life? Is it how I want to remember these years, being negative and afraid, or do I want to remember this time as a challenging, but empowering time in my life’s unfolding?”
Women trying to conceive have a lot of nervous energy, making the thought of sitting still seem unnerving. Even when stillness is exactly what’s needed, it can be hard to find the time or willpower to disengage from the world of fertility chatrooms and social media, to go within and align with your “higher self.”
That’s why we created 12 guided mediations to improve your fertility – to make it easier to get to that peaceful place, engage with your intuition, and get support specific to the world of fertility and ART.
Using tracks from Binaural Visions by visionary artist Liam Bradbury, these meditations help get you into a meditative state easily and quickly. Meditation for fertility activates the mind-body connection that is such a powerful force in improving ovarian function and fertility outcomes, and helps manage and balance your emotions.
We’ve created a fertility meditation for IVF that you can use before, during, and after your embryo transfer – a very important day when staying calm and receptive to a different outcome is of the utmost importance. There’s also a meditation for the waiting that comes with trying to conceive – periods of heightened vulnerability and uncertainty like the two week wait, when your brain is in need of an anchor to redirect looping thoughts of doubt and worry.
These meditations will help reset your adrenal glands, reducing the amount of adrenaline and cortisol in your system, calming your nerves, and giving you tools to keep the faith that your efforts to become a mother will eventually pay off. Soon you’ll be surprised how easy it can be to think more Fertile Thoughts!